Monday, December 28, 2009

Reflections of a typical S'porean

小燕子,事有凑巧,今早我才收到这篇朋友伊美儿给我的笑话(我当它是),而你却在这个时候说要移民来狮城,希望我这一贴,不会让你打退堂鼓。

I am Ong Ah Tee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C, and everything from 1, 2, and 3.
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE
Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY
Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O levels I went to JC
They said you live in Singapore very LUCKY
This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY for the tour of duty
After that we may continue our Studies
The girls can just sit back, relax, and watch TV
They come to this world only to "lim kopi, kway jit chee
No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I want to take up IT, but I had no money to go to University or Poly
So I went to work at FACTORY
Working hard to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and
ride in MRT.
My bosses show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder daily: "HURRY, HURRY and HURRY !"
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over stretch OT
Going home after midnight by TAXI
And they pay me only bus fee
My colleague likes me because of my honesty and can easily bully
They said I don't know how to carry.
I Park-Tor and became STEADY
Finally had to MARRY
Because gahment gave baby bonus MONEY
I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY
In one year, I became DADDY
I can't support my family and our BABY
Being tied down for life to repay 2 rooms HDB and rising monthly
utilities to PUB
My bank account has NO MONEY
POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE
Insisting that "Nothing is FREE!"
So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI
Many times I want to jump MRT
But that is not EASY
My wife cries: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"
So I can't MATI
I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy
"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me".
He never tells me any convincing Policy.
How to help the poor with more GST?
Why I cannot have pay increase but they can have increase?
Before, my MP said "Vote for me, we give you sweeties".
Now, they want to increase salary, because "You voted me"..
They claim they made good economy for our country.
They benchmark themselves using GDP.
They said, "To get the best man, you have to pay high fee"
otherwise, they will join MNC. / /
And all your 'char bor' become maids in other COUNTRY.
Next will be the GST.
My boss say "no" to increase in salary,
It's really make me worry.
Our Health Ministry said let GP set their consultation fee.
If the GP charges high fee, don't let them see.
No money, how can healthy
If fall sick, can only mati
In hospital, can afford Class C.
I don't mind all nurses are aunty,
But only one doctor to see
No money for operation, I Tan Si.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

脚车失窃

嘿嘿,我要报案!
平安夜是很平安,可是平安夜过后就不平安了,我家在昨天(26号)失窃了一辆脚踏车,这已经不是第一次被偷,家里前前后后已经被偷了四,五辆之多,但这是第一次在自家门外被偷,其余的不是在地铁站附近,就是在草药园被偷。最可恶的是在草药园被偷的那辆,无意间在某中学里被弟弟发现,虽被外劳泰工(校工)改装过,但还是被弟弟认出,因为某些零件是弟弟自己装上去的,弟弟很肯定脚车就是他的,草药园也就在学校附近,但无奈,因为当时他没有报案!真是可恶!可憎!可恨!

Friday, December 25, 2009

圣诞派礼

我是个穷圣诞老人,为了这一年一次的佳节,我还是贷款一年,买了这些圣诞礼物送给大家。嘿嘿,你要不要替我分担一些,呵呵呵。。。
买了礼物,所剩无几,没有多余的钱替那些鹿群买吃的,它们都不肯替我拉雪橇派送礼物到你们家,只好有劳你们来寒舍走一趟,为了确保大家都有,一人只能拿一份,先到先得,礼物送完为止!
俳优,我知道你有101个家眷。。。但也只能拿一份,你的司机也有哦!欢迎他来拿。

Monday, December 21, 2009

圣诞佳节 Christmas Day


每年的十二月二十五日是基督教的一个重要的节日,即是圣诞节又名耶诞节,是纪念耶稣基督的诞生(但真实的诞生日就没有人知道了),同时也是普遍庆祝的世俗节日。纪念耶稣诞生的节期与时值仲冬的农节和太阳节这两个非基督教节日巧合,因此庆祝习俗来源不一。在罗马帝国范围之内,十二月十七日农神节是寻欢取乐、互相馈赠的日子。十二月二十五日是古伊朗人所崇奉的正义之神密特拉的生日。古罗马人在元旦用青枝绿叶和灯火装饰房屋,并向儿童和穷人赠送礼物。条顿人各部族渗入高卢、不列颠和中欧等地,又带来日耳曼人和克尔特人的宗教仪式。于是,有了团聚欢宴、燃烧大块柴木、品尝大木形糕饼,张挂树枝、陈放枞树、访亲问友、来往馈赠等庆祝活动。象征温暖和长寿的火与灯光,一向是冬季节日庆祝活动中的内容,在基督教和非基督教习俗都是如此。十九世纪,圣诞卡的流行、圣诞老人的出现,圣诞节也开始流行起来了。但是有很多圣诞节的欢庆活动和宗教并无半点关联。交换礼物,寄圣诞卡,这都使圣诞节成为一个普天同庆的日子。

西方人以红、绿、白三色为圣诞色,圣诞节来临时家家户户都要用圣诞色来装饰。红色的有圣诞花和圣诞蜡烛。绿色的是圣诞树。它是圣诞节的主要装饰品,用砍伐来的杉、柏一类呈塔形的常青树装饰而成。上面悬挂著五颜六色的彩灯、礼物和纸花,还点燃著圣诞蜡烛。

红色与白色相映成趣的是圣诞老人,他是圣诞节活动中最受欢迎的人物。在西方,扮演圣诞老人也是一种习俗,据说:小亚细亚每拉城有一位主教,名叫圣尼古拉,死后被尊为圣徒,他是一位身穿红袍、头戴红帽的白胡子老头。每年圣诞节他都会驾著鹿拉的雪橇从北方面来,由烟囱进入各家,把圣诞礼物装在袜子里挂在孩子们的床头上或火炉前。所以,西方儿童在圣诞夜临睡之前,要在壁炉前或枕头旁放上一只袜子,等候圣诞老人在他们入睡后把礼物放在袜子内。第二天,孩子们醒来后的第一 件事就是在床头上寻找圣诞老人送来的礼物。其实,真正的圣诞老人是他们家里的父母。如今,圣诞老人已成为吉祥如意的象征,不仅是过圣诞节时不可缺少的人物,也是欢庆新年时不可缺少的人物。

祝大家: 冬至快乐!平安夜平安!圣诞节快乐!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

三味木薯

算算上次做木薯糕已是几个月前的事了,这些木薯应该是漏网之鱼(上次没被挖完),要感恩没被老鼠偷吃,我才有木薯可以做糕点,以下是这次的收获。

栗子木薯除了用做木薯糕外, 清蒸也很好吃。

烘木薯糕
蒸的木薯糕

正在蒸的木薯糕

烘烤中的木薯糕