Reflections of a typical S'porean

小燕子，事有凑巧，今早我才收到这篇朋友伊美儿给我的笑话(我当它是)，而你却在这个时候说要移民来狮城，希望我这一贴，不会让你打退堂鼓。

I am Ong Ah Tee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C, and everything from 1, 2, and 3.
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE
Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY
Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O levels I went to JC
They said you live in Singapore very LUCKY
This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY for the tour of duty
After that we may continue our Studies
The girls can just sit back, relax, and watch TV
They come to this world only to "lim kopi, kway jit chee
No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I want to take up IT, but I had no money to go to University or Poly
So I went to work at FACTORY
Working hard to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and
ride in MRT.
My bosses show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder daily: "HURRY, HURRY and HURRY !"
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over stretch OT
Going home after midnight by TAXI
And they pay me only bus fee
My colleague likes me because of my honesty and can easily bully
They said I don't know how to carry.
I Park-Tor and became STEADY
Finally had to MARRY
Because gahment gave baby bonus MONEY
I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY
In one year, I became DADDY
I can't support my family and our BABY
Being tied down for life to repay 2 rooms HDB and rising monthly
utilities to PUB
My bank account has NO MONEY
POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE
Insisting that "Nothing is FREE!"
So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI
Many times I want to jump MRT
But that is not EASY
My wife cries: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"
So I can't MATI
I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy
"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me".
He never tells me any convincing Policy.
How to help the poor with more GST?
Why I cannot have pay increase but they can have increase?
Before, my MP said "Vote for me, we give you sweeties".
Now, they want to increase salary, because "You voted me"..
They claim they made good economy for our country.
They benchmark themselves using GDP.
They said, "To get the best man, you have to pay high fee"
otherwise, they will join MNC. / /
And all your 'char bor' become maids in other COUNTRY.
Next will be the GST.
My boss say "no" to increase in salary,
It's really make me worry.
Our Health Ministry said let GP set their consultation fee.
If the GP charges high fee, don't let them see.
No money, how can healthy
If fall sick, can only mati
In hospital, can afford Class C.
I don't mind all nurses are aunty,
But only one doctor to see
No money for operation, I Tan Si.